I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
