she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
