i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize