then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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