Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize