i think my mom watched the whole time
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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