The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
