I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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