I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
