Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
