What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize