dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
