is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
