I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize