so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Welp...herpes.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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