the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
