i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
