I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
