Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize