cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
