I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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