I heard we made out
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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