my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
