never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
