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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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