Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
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My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize