Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
do nipples grow back?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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