I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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