I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
