I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
