Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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