yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
