When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
