Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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