I puked a lego.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
