we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
