i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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