Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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