There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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