these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
