i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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