the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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