She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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