you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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