When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
