I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
