dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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