its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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