so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
