im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
