the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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