these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
