What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
