Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
