I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
