Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
