just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
