we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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