that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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