Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

How wet are you?

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

Ever heard of a U-boat?

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.

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(585): View more from New York

If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays

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(503): View more from Oregon

well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back

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(586): View more from Michigan

from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke

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(843): View more from South Carolina

my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib

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(609): View more from New Jersey

she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.

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(509): View more from Washington

I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.

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