He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
