these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
